抑郁症

 8th July 2021

这是第二次了。

开始觉得自己有抑郁症的现象了。

好好看着视频，会无缘无故的哭泣。感觉自己很委屈，无奈的委屈感。

有轻微的自杀念头。

我家人不知道~ 从不让陈爸爸担心我。

突然觉得自己好像有轻微的抑郁症

 28th June 2021

心痛

突然觉得自己好像有轻微的抑郁症（知道某某症状）

驾车时突然想到你每天都没法入眠 - 心痛因为感受到你的疲倦。很想很想帮你但不知道如何是好。

突然想起高中时自己有本写满诗的书本，弄丢了。心也痛。

痛到突然很想脱离联系方式。

痛到很想关手机，睡酒店。

这不就是抑郁症吗？

Casual night out (Brenda Thien)

I unable to express my pain that is still burning in my heart, so i came here to write something.

18th November 2018, this customer that u just met and have a talked.

19th November 2018, i can't believe that u can go have a drink with him. Deep down i trying not wanting to give a damn about that. I had no clue that how can you went out with someone stranger that u only chat a few hours then can go out and have a drink. Despite that, you only mentioned with me that u going out with "Telecommunication  guy". WHAT THE FUCK?! , i was worried and i texted you from 10pm till 2:54 a.m. and finally my sleep kick in. You freaking keep calling me at 3:05 a.m. for couple of times despite i rejected your call. I got work in the morning and yet u call and just wanna meet me, please if i do that u to i'm sure the next day you go bad mood about it too.

My heart still burning as i writing this. Every time argument happened and you never said sorry the next day, i said sorry after i do something wrong but you don't. Is like the word sorry is fucking hard for u to express until i asked for it.

This isn't fair to me, you can go out until 2-3am late night and i don't said a word about it. But if i go out until late night because i wanna play some mobile game with friend, you instantly showing that unhappy attitude in whatsapp. It happened couple of times already.

无法变回原来的自己

有时候我们明明原谅那个人,但却无法快乐起来。
那是因为,你忘记原谅自己。

我可能真的忘记原谅自己。

我不快乐。

命运就像强奸，
你反抗不了，
就要学习享受。

工作就像轮奸，
你不行了，
别人就上。

生活就像自慰，
什么都要靠自己双手。

学习就像叫鸡，
出钱又出力。

朋友就像内裤，
在你大起大落时都包含你。

好朋友就像避孕套，
时时都为你着想。

更好的朋友就像~伟哥~，
在你抬不起头时给你力量。

TIME MANAGEMENT

TIME MANAGEMENT

Something will master and something will serve. Either you run the day or the day runs you; either you run the business or the business runs you.

Learn how to separate the majors and the minors. A lot of people don’t do well simply because they major in minor things.

Don’t mistake movement for achievement. It’s easy to get faked out by being busy. The question is: Busy doing what?

Days are expensive. When you spend a day you have one less day to spend. So make sure you spend each one wisely.

Sometimes you need to stay in touch but be out of reach.

Time is our most valuable asset, yet we tend to waste it, kill it, and spend it rather than invest it.

We can no more afford to spend major time on minor things than we can to spend minor time on major things.

Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time.

Never begin the day until it is finished on paper.

Learn how to say no. Don’t let your mouth overload your back.

Time is the best-kept secret of the rich.

(by Jim Rohn)

十年前...十年后...

父母

十年前我们是父母的孩子

十年后我们是孩子的父母

十年前我不知道家的温馨

十年后我才体会家的温暖

十年前我渴望离家去远方

十年后我渴望从远方回家

十年前我对父母大吵大嚷

十年后我希望父母再骂我一次

爱情

十年前你是我的同桌

十年后你成了别人的妻子

十年前我唱着同桌的你

十年后我想着同桌的你

十年前我们面对的唯一问题是考试

十年后我们除了考试所有的问题都要面对

十年前我在你家楼下记住了你嫣然的回眸一笑

十年后我在你家楼下看到你训斥孩子的严厉面孔

十年前我渴望马上结婚

十年后我渴望再谈一次恋爱

十年前我们谈及爱情，总是羞涩

十年后我们谈及爱情，却是生涩

十年前我渴望爱情，但不知道什么是爱情

十年后我知道了什么是爱情，却不再拥有爱情

生活

十年前我骑着自行车，吹着欢快的口哨，走在回家的路上

十年后我开着私家车，接着不断的电话，走在应酬的路上

十年前我渴望住进五星饭店

十年后我住进五星饭店，却想回家

十年前我渴望坐一次飞机

十年后我最害怕的就是坐飞机

十年前我踢完球，走过咖啡屋的窗前，希望女生对面的男生是我

十年后我望见咖啡屋外走过的刚刚踢过球的孩子，希望我是其中一个

十年前我们被父母和老师逼到课桌前，认真听讲

十年后我想再次听讲，却找不到课桌

十年前我鄙视饭店门前的酒鬼，发誓一辈子也不喝酒

十年后我就是饭店门前的那个酒鬼

十年前我渴望有朝一日坐上自己的私家车，不再走路

十年后我渴望走路，不再开私家车

十年前我希望显露出的是成熟

十年后我去美容，希望青春永驻

十年前我顿顿想着吃肉

十年后我顿顿想着吃青菜

工作

十年前我们为打一个电话四处寻找公用电话

十年后我们有了，依然四处奔波

十年前我月薪的目标是1000

十年后我月薪6000元，依然无法快乐

十年前我最怕的就是批评

十年后我最难得的却是批评

十年前200元钱我可以花一个月

十年后2000元钱我才可以吃一顿饭

十年前我们穿着统一的校服，朴素中透出的是阳光般的灿烂

十年后我们穿着名牌的服装，华贵中流露出的是淡淡的忧郁

十年前我们可以蓬头垢面，满脸汗渍的去上课

十年后我们必须衣冠楚楚，面带微笑的去上班

十年前我痛恨腐败

十年后我腐败了

念

十年前我以为自己是一棵大树

十年后我才明白自己只不过是一棵小草

十年前我唯一可以浪费的就是时间

十年后我除了时间什么我都可以浪费

十年前我们可以说青春无悔

十年后我们只能说青春不在

十年前我们可以游戏人生

十年后我们却处在人生的游戏中...